Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Thor in my side

I never really liked Marvel Comics and I thought the worst were their Thor Comics.

Vikings,- like Ninjas or Pirates are just automatically cool, but Thor was the lamest, spandex-disco-viking I had ever seen. I think I only ever had one Thor comic because ( as well as Thor looking totally lame) the story was rubbish with way too much reading and no action.

This is an entire page from Thor*:

* Not actually him in this panel,
someone in disguise,
but who gives a flyin'

Is lame, no?

This is how much reading went along with this one lame picture:

The clunky exposition, the rubbish alliteration, the assumption that I'll find this interesting because I'm told that it's interesting, the vomit-inducing patronising tone, the 'spot-the difference' puzzle element to the page (because Odin-knows the story aint gonna grab ya) LAME LAME LAME LAME... AAAAAAAAARGH!

Why does so much Marvel read like it was written by a game-show host?

Speaking of AAAAAAAAARGH! Compare Thor to this guy, the viking from 2000ad, his name is Wulf Sternhammer and his mighty hammer he calls 'der Happy Stick!':

And that's not even a full-page and Wulf isn't even the main character.
Wulf was a Historical Scandinavian who began his story as a Warrior on the fjords but got mixed up with a time-travel and became an intergalactic bounty-hunter.

Which to my mind made him way cooler.

This last picture of Wulf is from the same page: there is more 'viking' in this image ( *Which took up about the same area as one of those over-long talk boxes) than I ever saw in my entire Thor comic.

Marvel Thor isn't a real viking, he's not even a real God,— he's just a Spaceman,—and Kenneth Brannagh sounds like he doesn't want anyone to know that he comes from Belfast.

But I went to see the fillum anyway.


Because of Bock is why.

And hand on heart, it wasn't a bad 'oul flick: way better than the comics, — but what sort of a world is it when all that time and talent goes into the lame-o lunch-box cover crap-arsed viking of my youth and 'Wulf' and 'der happy stick' are consigned to relative oblivion?

I ask you?

No comments:

Post a Comment