Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Return of Manic Monday.

Completing the set: Manic Monday by the Bangles meets Return of the Jedi

Click on this to hear the music in a new window

A twin-sun dawn already,
and we're right
in the middle of the scene,
Look, there's two robots
at the front-door
of a palace,
somewhere on

But they're both made slaves,
because the Hutt
is not a reasonable man.

He captures Leia:
'cause Skywalker
is the man with a plan:

Yes Lucas made another Starwars (oh-uh-woah)
For filling up the Toy Stores (oh-uh-woah)
Directing's been out-sourced (Marquand)
The prequels were far worse (oh-uh-woah)
(Than when) Lucas made another Starwars

So every-one
es-capes'n'Jabba dies,
'n' Luke goes back
to Yoda
to train,

It turns out Leia
is his sister,
And we have the whole:
"related?!" again.

And also-
There's another
Death Star.
With a hole in it,

Do I really care?

I think it's pretty
safe to say
that the plot's
been already there

Yes Lucas made another Starwars (oh-uh-woah)
He's filling up the Toy Stores(oh-uh-woah)
The directing's been out-sourced ( Marquhahand )
The prequels were far worse(oh-uh-woah)
(Than when) Lucas made another Starwars

Why of all films,
why could not Lucas
not have left
three alone?

(left them, a-lone)

It can't be dough:
The fucking bastard must be rolling:
all the shit he owns,

I just honestly cant say what's worse...

The prequels or Greedo firing first

( Bang, bang, bang, bang!)

But tweaking is fun (when you’ve no ideas)...

Yes Lucas made another Starwars(oh-uh-woah)
It's filling up the Toy Stores(oh-uh-woah)
Directing's been out-sourced(oh-uh-woah)
The prequels were far worse(oh-uh-woah)
(Yeah) Lucas made another Starwars(oh-uh-woah)
It's filling up the Toy Stores(oh-uh-woah)
Directing's been out-sourced(oh-uh-woah)
The prequels were far worse(oh-uh-woah)

(Than when) Lucas made another StarWars.

The Empire strikes an Eternal Flame

As one thing leads to another...

Click on this to hear the music in a new window
( There maybe an ad on first)


Close your eyes
open your mind,

do hear how I'm speakin'?
Yoda will explain ,
I dont
speak plain,
I speak Kinda freakeh...
lackwards banguage
all the time,
speak I .


That is why
explain do I
to you,
in this arse-about face way,
talk like this I do,
to screw
with you
I speak Kinda freakeh...
lackwards banguage
all the time,
speak I .


Hurting brain,
Never speaking plain,
Yoda's way,
it is when,
Jedi he must train,
So it is that
lackwards banguage,
all the time
speak I....


Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A New Hope of Walking Like an Egyptian

Wrote this a few months ago: thought I might as well stick it 'ere...

Okay:Click on this to hear the music in a new window


(to the tune of 'Walk Like An Egyptian' by The Bangles then)

All the Tusken raiders,
on the plains:
They do the sand-dance
dontcha know,

in single file,


They're leaving, but
they'll be back with mo'.

Tiny jawas drive-
a giant skip,
around the place,
looking out for scrap,
They'll sell you droids


( thay're stolen or
just completely crap)

Jawa guys
with the glowing eyes say,
way oh
way ooh
way oh-oh
way oooh!

Got what you're looking for.

Master Luke is so-
sick of life,
He wants to join
- the rebellion,
His Dads alive!
No way! oh...

( That isn't what
folks are tellin him,)

Stormtroopers waste-
all his kin,
And so he must
go- with Obi Wan,
He's got the force..

Oh way oh..

And that's why the
troop-ers wave them on.
Obi Wan:
He just his moves hand,

way oh
way ooh
way oh-oh
way ohh!

not what you're looking for

instrumental break and 'whistling' bit

They hire a ship
- in a bar,
but some of the
custom-ers are rude,
Obi chops 'em up,

No way! Oh..

Kenobi's a
bad-ass fighting dude,

Han Solo takes-
on the job,
And thats 'cos he-
needs the money fast,

He meets Greedo,

Oh way oh,

He shoots at him,
Greedo has a blast.

Han solo
'pays for the mess',
And gets away,
with this felony,

no-one seems to mind
('bout Greedo!)
They live in a hive,
of villainy.

 Straight away
to the docking bay and..

way oh
way ooh
way oh-oh
way ohh!

Set course for Alderaan.
Set course for Alderaan.


Sunday, March 4, 2012

The bottle to act responsibly.

There was a time, back when I were a gorsoon, that you could bring the bottles of some soft drinks back to the shop and receive money for them from the shop-owner.
I must have been quite young when this practice stopped but I do remember it.

For quite some time afterwards all bottles were emblazoned with the words 'No Deposit- No Return' to hammer the point home that the days of "finding a discarded bottle and turning one man's trash into another man's bag-of-sweeties" were truly over.

That old system went the way of the buggy-whip. Glass-recycling hasn't ended mind you, but now we have Bottle-banks where every right-thinking citizen disposes of their surplus glassware and gets to benefit charities, like Rehab So I suppose you could say that people are paid in 'environmental charity-supporting smug points' instead of money.

I think the money was better: 'environmentally-conscious charity-supporting smug points' are only of value to a certain section of the population whereas everybody loves money.

I think there was a shift in thinking somewhere along the line. With the deposit/return system everybody had a reason to recycle and the that reason was self-interest. It required no training in the importance of sustainability to get children to recycle, it wasn't laid on the head of each individual to
" do the right thing": there was a system there to ensure the right thing was done.

It's just another way of operating.

Speaking of other ways of operating; in Finland, they didn't get rid of the "Deposit/Return" system, they refined it.

I cannot explain what it was like, as a regular visitor to stinking Irish Car-park Bottle-banks, I cant explain what it was like to enter a shop, every shop that sold
bottles and cans, and find a clean and beautiful machine that you just popped your bottles and cans into. I cant explain it. I felt like a Caveman who'd been defrosted and woke up in the future.

Watching the machine read the barcode and sort the recycling ( as the digital total of my deposit money rose on the display ) was staggering.

The shop-owners ( who make a living distributing receptacles in glass and aluminium ) had never passed on responsibility to the customer, but instead dealt with recycling as part of their business.

About six months ago, a bright plastic Bottle-bank was put in place at the top of Wolf Tone Street and was promptly burnt down to an ugly black smudge by 'the youth of today' because 'environmentally-conscious charity-supporting smug points' are of no value to them.

Their actions would hardly be described as responsible: but, to my mind, the fault is in the system: were the shops to accept their responsibility for what they sell and adopt the Finnish model then there'd be no ugly plastic Bottle-banks and the 'youth-of-today' would have a solid reason to clean-up after cider-parties.

A reason that has nothing to do with abstract notions like ' saving the planet' and everything to do with self-interest.