THE WOMAN:
Five minutes? what is the boy playing at?
I’ll give you five minutes you lazy strap,
The water should be pumped an hour ago!
(she exits towards the bedroom)
I’ll drag you out of bed, if I have to!
(She reappears)
OhmyGod-OhmyGod ,OhmyGod ,OhmyGod
THE YOUNG MAN:
(Emerging in a state of undress)
I’m sorry but you shouldn’t have burst in,
I mean you could have knocked, I mean sorry.
THE WOMAN:
OH MY GOD!
THE YOUNG MAN:
My privates, My privacy, needs respect.
THE WOMAN:
It didn’t take you long to get used to the idea then.
THE WOMAN:
That girl can take her things, and go back home,
Go back in there, and tell her, pack her bags.
She’ll have to leave at once, the deal is off,
THE YOUNG MAN:
But Mum>
THE OLD MAN:(with lamp)
>Hey now! What’s all this noise, who’s going home?
THE YOUNG MAN:
Grandad<
THE WOMAN:
>There are some things a Mother shouldn’t see,
That girl is going back and that is that.!
I will not tolerate it in my home,
I can’t endure the terms of that mans deal.
It’s simply unendurable I say!
We’ll give that farmer back all of his things,
And open the Garbagerie as planned,
that girl simply must leave this house at once.
THE OLD MAN:
Oh so!- the Girl is here already then!
Okay, Well,- let’s not panic straightaway!
I know the boy’s not really comfortable,
or happy about this arrangement so,
Maybe your Old Grandfather here could help ?
May I suggest she stays with me a while,
‘Til you get used to having her around.
Then if you like, after a week or two,
When you’re a bit more used to the idea,
Then you can take her in to sleep with you.
THE WOMAN:
OH MY GOD!
She is not to stay here one moment longer!
Not under my own roof, I’ll not have it!
THE OLD MAN:
My Daughter you forget who is in charge,
Who is the most Responsible one here?
THE WOMAN:
But this - this situation’s most unique!
THE OLD MAN:
I have the most Responsibility,
‘The Last of the Mohicans‘ that I am.
The only living Eco-warrior,
‘The man who saved the world’- did you forget?
What’s all that stuff you bully Wasters with?
‘Great Responsibility means great power’
And so said friendly neighborhood Speidmunn,
THE YOUNG MAN:
Well actually…
THE OLD MAN:
Yes?
THE YOUNG MAN:
And so said Speidmunn, so say all of us.
THE OLD MAN:
Right, and so I’ll only say this once,
She’s staying here a month like we agreed.(pause)
Now, as the boy’s so set against it, I
Myself will see what I can do to help<
THE YOUNG MAN:
>Well actually, you’re alright there, you see< THE OLD MAN: >Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything.
THE YOUNG MAN:
No what I mean is, everything is fine,
I ‘preciate the offer, granddad but,
I feel that I’ll be alright on my own,
Now that we’ve met, and already made friends,
The situation, deal or whatever-
It’s not as difficult as I first thought.
THE OLD MAN:
That’s bravely said my boy, but worry not,
You do not need to sacrifice yourself,
I know you never wanted to do this,
I agreed without asking your consent.
But I’m prepared to right this wrong, right now.
I’ll take this burden from you, my poor lad.
THE YOUNG MAN:
No really, there’s no need, I say again.
It’s true I was not gone on the idea,
At first, but now I think I’ll be okay.
THE OLD MAN:
You mean, You’re sure, that this is what you want?
‘Cause if you change your mind, I’ll be right here.
THE YOUNG MAN:
No thank you, like I told you, I’ll be fine.
THE OLD MAN:
Okay, so now you’re fine about the whole business are you?
THE YOUNG MAN:
Yes. Yes I am, I mean Yes.(pause)
THE OLD MAN:
If that’s the case, I still say that she stays.
(to audience)(This isn’t how I thought that it would be,
But I suppose that only serves me right.)
And I say the Garbagerie stays closed.
no arguments, I am not in the mood.
THE WOMAN:
But people want somewhere to bring their guilt.
THE OLD MAN:
Perhaps, but people also need to eat.
Our wants aren’t quite as urgent our needs.
And though it’s only human to desire,
Not all of our desires can be fulfilled,
And as my own desires are with me still,
I think I might as well go back to bed.
(He leaves)
THE WOMAN:
Well then, it seems that I have no say here,
Everyone has their orders to obey.
But as your Mother I’d appreciate,
THE YOUNG MAN:
>I get it mom, I’m sorry about that.
I’ll make sure that I keep my door locked shut.
THE WOMAN:
Also considering your ‘task in hand’,
Perhaps it is my duty to point out,
As your elder, and as your Mother too,
One thing you may not know, but it’s a fact,
You’ll never get her pregnant doing that.
(da-dum! Tishhh)
THE YOUNG MAN:
MOM!
THE WOMAN: (she lights a lamp)
Well I am only trine to help you out.
A Mother should be of some use to you.
If you are to become a father I...
Oh my boy, it is the most serious thing.
Parenthood.
I owe a great debt to my Father son,
As everybody does, you understand,
without people like him and my mother,
There really might not be a world today.
But…
THE YOUNG MAN:
But?
THE WOMAN:
But that man owes a debt to me as well!
Everything that we have is my doing!
Do you know that I starved when I was young?
Nobody knew we were Reese-pon-Sybil!
We used to farm and fish: we used to starve!
We lived like wasters, can you believe that?
All of the things that he and Mother did,
to save the world, back in the bee-four-time,
He never wanted anyone to know,
He kept it secret! Just imagine that!
He told me not to tell anybody,
About our fam’ly’s Rees-pon-sybil past!
He wanted to live just like a waster!
What sort of father lets his own child starve?
Well soon as I found out,I asked around,
And it turned out your Grandma’s quite well-known,
One of the most Reese-pon-Sybil that lived!
And my own Father:- an eco-war-your!
To think we had been hungry all that time!
And had to beg from others to survive,
No food, position, power or prestige,
And we,- the highest-born fam’ly for miles!
Of course ,I made sure everybody knew,
How wonderful to see shame in their eyes,
and know I’d never be hungry again.
That stubborn man still tried to farm, but now,
No-one would let him. Why?-The guilt of course!
That’s why you have a chance at life my boy,
Because I founded this Garbagerie,
and made sure I was Reese-pon-sibly Wed.
Although my husband didn’t last a year,
I never got to know him really, son.
And I have been here on my own since then.
Such sacrifices, parents have to make,
At least all of your blood’s Reese-pon-Sybil,
And We have Our Position and Our Name,
(she lights another)
Because of your Grandfather, it is true,
But also because of the work I‘ve done.
To keep this fam’ly fed, and free from harm.
And this is how he shows his gratitude,
By over-ruling everything I say.
And bringing in a stranger to this home.
Please promise me you’ll keep her from my sight.
YOUNG MAN:
No problem, although she’s really not so bad and<
THE WOMAN:
I assure you I have absolutely no intention of seeing or talking
to a Waster girl!
Somebody should at least keep a semblance of pride around here.
THE YOUNG MAN:
I don’t think she’d contaminate you Mum,
she’s actually very nice,
THE WOMAN:
I’ve no doubt that she’s accommodating,
She would bend over backwards I dare say,
THE YOUNG MAN:
Mom!
THE WOMAN:
Just keep her from my sight like a good boy.
Although I don’t approve of this at all,
I’m glad you can endure her, for your sake,
If it’s to be, you might as well enjoy,
your new companion, for a while at least.
(she lights another)
I often wish that I could find a man,
of my age and Reese-pon-Sybil-itty,
To be with in the autumn of my life.
THE YOUNG MAN:
Mom!
THE WOMAN:
Oh yes it’s fine for you but no-one else,
You needn’t worry son, it cannot be,
For nobody’s Reese-pon-Sybil for miles,
And those that are, are not the men for me.
Great Reese-pon-sybil-itty brings great power,
Wise old Speidmunn said that,- and it’s quite true,
But often it means loneliness as well,
that is the disadvantage of our class.
THE YOUNG MAN:
Mother, how do we know, what Speidmunn said?
THE WOMAN:
(she lights another)
I Beg your pardon, Organic my boy?
THE YOUNG MAN:
How do we know he ever said those things?
THE WOMAN:
Because! Young Man, because!-it’s written down,
Like The Great Wonder, all the ancient books,
The wisdom that we have from bee-four time,
It is because it is, It’s written down.
THE YOUNG MAN:
So, written down after the world had changed.?
THE WOMAN:
Yes, After the world changed, I think so, yes!
THE YOUNG MAN:
And what do we know about bee-four times?
THE WOMAN:
Things coming from the bee-four times are curs’d.
THE YOUNG MAN:
What about Speidmunn and The Great Wonder?
THE WOMAN:
Oh This is no time for theology!
What’s wrong with you? you really read too much.
All I know is how old Speidmunn told us:
‘That Great Reese-pon-Sybil-itty is power’
I don’t think that I need to know much more.
THE YOUNG MAN:
I don’t agree, there’s too much I don’t know.
THE WOMAN:
You’ve never grown up, Questions all the time!
Why don’t you go back in to your new ‘friend’.
And stop with all your questioning for once.
THE YOUNG MAN:
You need me to get water for the house.
THE WOMAN:
Just go back in, I’ll do all that myself.
It’s not like I have something else to do.
Just keep her out of sight - like a good boy.
(He exits.Tentative noise outside)
Whats that? don’t tell me someone’s coming here.
Some of these people were born without brains!
(Shouting)The invitation flame has not been lit!
(to herself)It’s very plain to see that we are closed.
(Shouting)Garbagerie is closed! Do not disturb!
(Incomprehensible female objection from off stage)
I don’t care why you came, I say we’re closed!
You’ll turn around right now and walk, I said.
I’m not int’rested, this is private ground.
That’s right, Get lost!(my what a stupid girl).
I think the reason half these people starve,
is they lack the intelligence to eat,
And though I know survival here is hard
Stupidity is fatal when complete.
In case any one of you is in doubt,
Let it be known to Wasters far and near,
The invitation flame has been put out,
There’s no point in your hanging around here,
For it has been decreed we take a break.
So we’ll take one: And you take a break too,
Though I’m convinced it’s all a big mistake,
(Next time we meet, there maybe less of you).
You cannot attend this Garbageray,
For unless that old man changes his tune...
We will not be opening up here today.
Tho' I assure you, business will resume.
Interval
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