Sunday, January 2, 2011

Therr and back again.

( okay, this is what I was at with title of the earlier post, but I was unable to elaborate* ).

I believe that you can calm a pedant down by saying:

"Sshhhhhh...there, their, they're."

Or at least you won't enrage them further, because you'll be 'saying' it and they won't hear the difference. The difference between all three spoken 'therrs' is non-existent.

In a lifetime of speaking this language, nobody has ever turned around to me and said: "Sorry, did you mean 'therr' with an apostrophe, 'therr' with an 'i' in it, or just plain 'therr'?".

And you, dear reader, in a lifetime of vocal interaction,- I bet that nobody has ever said the same to you. Why? because when we use the word 'therr' the context provides the meaning.

Having said that, the use of the wrong 'therr' does look a little lazy and... um amateurish, at least to me. I do sympathise with the lazy amateur of course, I get writing with the grammar so wrong so oftentimes, but if the web, (with its' boards and it's blogs and its' various comment boxes) promotes any philosophy of literature it's: 'Throw it up quick and hope that they get whatever it is you're blathering on about!'.

In the interest of simplicity, harmony, and the minimising of pedantic rage, I thought I might suggest the adoption of 'therr' for the quick-texter.

Therr is no reason why it shouldn't work. The pedants will not have any personal confusion that comes from an exact understanding of each type of meaning; so that's therr objections answered. Then again, when I look back over the preceding sentence therr; I must admit that therr must be a less ugly way of putting sentences together than the one therr above me. Dammit, I tried to dismiss the complaints of the pedants as.. well mere pedantry. But look at this awkward ugliness!

I try to dismiss them as pedants and nit-picking silly-billies, but in the end I must admit,

therr right.

*because I turned into a giant beetle halfway through, as a result of my hidden Jewish refugee empathy diet. I had a few rashers and I'm alright now.


  1. Given your Dublin drawl 'deer, dear, dare' would probably be a better phonetic rendering.

    to be braced with reply 'Where, wear, ware?'

    and riposte 'Here, hear, hair'

    and, now that a pedant has taken the bait, we wait, breaths abated, for the trap to snap with a witty 'there, their, they're'.

    Oh, dairy me, weir hare and backgammon.

  2. 'Dubbelin Drawl?' How THERR you!

    Have a pome:

    It's terrible about the Do-Do though,
    Because even though there was loads,
    Th'people and the cats and th'rats,
    They chopped them up and ate their eggs,
    ample example,
    ample eggs there was though,

    Now No Do-Do though.

    As Homer Simpson might say:
    If we continue with this cavalier approach to the destruction of our own habitat, then as a species;

    we're fucked.

  3. U cud replace all the 'therrs' with a 'therr'
    And move on to payre back the 'payres'
    You shud trim all the 'awts'
    The 'frawts' and the 'nawts'
    Change 'wouldn't' to 'willnt', hool care?

  4. y'gotta luv d'limericks!

    here's one about a monkey orchestra:

    All attempts at ape-led orchestration,
    Have(so far)only led to frustration;
    For they howl and they spit,
    In the orchestra pit
    and attempt acts of defenestration!