Sunday, July 3, 2011


Good old Zardoz,

Yes indeed, Sean Connery in a bright red nappy, women with their groodies hanging out and some fine views of the Wicklow hills,— sure where would you get it? This is the very next fillum that John Boorman made after 'Deliverance', and he made it in Wicklow, good man that he is, and I think I've seen it at least five times in my life and holy-mary-mother-of-god what can I possibly say about it?

Fishing about on the interweb for pictures, I came across somebody's Zardoz-themed Hallowe'en costume and all I can say is it takes a brave man to party voluntarily in this get-up. I'll spare you the pictures, it's probably enough to know that he based his home-made costume on this original:

Look at our Sean, just look at him.

Has he no shame.

Zardoz is full of what we abbreviatingly refer to nowadays as WTF? As an example of some of the top-grade 'WTF?' to be enjoyed, here is Sean again in the other outfit that he wears in Zardoz. Yoor a holy show Sean!— a holy show, and this whole fillum is a holy show ago-go with more 'WTF?' than you can shake a stick at.

Probably too much 'WTF?' Certainly enough 'WTF?' to distract from it's many themes. But it's so gorgeous in its WTF-ossity, that I... I feel that it's...

No,no— I'm starting all wrong...
deep breath.
I have to gather me thoughts on this one for any attempt to interpret Zardoz is an attempt to explick the inexplicable.


Now, gather 'round my little internets and I'll tell you a tale worth a mile o' ground of walkin' for to hear:

It all began for me when I was a gorsoon and an erstwhile gorsoon asked me, in a solemn and insistent tone:

"have you seen Zardoz?"

"Er... no"

says I, trying to break his frantic ancient-mariner-like gaze.

" You have to see it"

was his follow up to that statement. Not an unusual one, predictable in fact,in the manner of inter-gorsoonal communication, and the type of statement normally easily dismissed but there was an uncharacteristic iciness in his tone that suggested an unusual level of import to this recommendation. Curiosity over-powered me and I opined the customary


"'Coz it's special"

It was clear from his face he would brook no further discussion of the matter. A VHS copy was duly loaned and time set aside. Down I sat, eager to glean what had infected my normally reticent colleague with such enthusiasm.

A tiny head appeared on a black background "My name is Arthur Frayne" says the little floating head,( looks familiar..)
which as it grew larger appeared to be ( Eric Idle ! )
wearing a tea-towel and had a beard and a moustache which as the head grew larger appeared to be ( maybe not Eric Idle )
sporting a curly moustache and goatee which as it grew larger appeared to be ( definitely not Eric Idle) with facial hair drawn really badly with eyebrow pencil.

Also, he's was talking mad-talk. 'He's a mentaller this one' says I. It was hard to understand what he was saying because the drawn-on beard was way too distracting.

Then, what did I see_— only another floating head, this time a big angry bearded stone one coming over the sugar-loaf ( that I climbed in Wicklow when I was in the cub scouts), it lands amongst it's worshippers and announces 'THE GUN IS GOOD! THE PENIS IS EVIL! THE PENIS SHOOTS SEEDS, WHICH BRING NEW LIFE AND POISON THE EARTH WITH THE PLAGUE OF MAN! GO FORTH, AND KILL!' and vomits out a load of rifles.

My friend was right about this film.

It is special.

I'll talk of it no more on this post, this is as much as I'm willing to say at this stage... watch it if you haven't seen it. I will write a proper write-up with spoilers and everything in the near future but I just can't manage it at the moment.

Zardoz is too special for just one post anyway.


  1. I met that ancient-mariner, he too fixed me with his gaze.

    I haven't laughed so much in ages, you have to do a full write up...

    People have to taste the special.

    In fact, and I think we're talking about the same bloke here, everything he introduced me to blew my mind, or most of it anyways.

    You gotta go with the Zardoz.

    I know what I'm dressing up in next Haloween.

    Peace and Hope


  2. If only he knew how his legacy lived on...and I don't mean Sean Connery. His legacy is of dubious quality. No doubt our dear old friend is out there now, still discovering oddities and educating the peoples. I continue his good work.

    I'd like to say more, but I dare not disobey the floating head of death.

  3. Well now Fathercrow there's a mental image to send one looking for the mind-bleach... seriously the man has not been made who could look well in that outfit.