The tickets Tony Hawkes
are for the prizes A.J. Raffles
And the first prize is a car,
Jeremy Irons each single ticket,
And Tom Waits to let Wilson Pickett,
They let Lou Reed out the winner,-
( It's the ticket that Ronnie Drew).
Unfortunately for Ronnie, Where Rosa Parks it:
Alicia Keys, and Howard Marx it,
Stevie Nicks the spoiler and hubcaps too.
Kathy Bates the door right in,
Ed Burns that bit the drink rests in,
The sight makes Huey Green and Betty Blue.
Guy Pearse out, while Bobby Sands
off all the paint with his bare hands,
Una Stubbs a fag out on the headrest too,
Britney Spears right through the tyres,
and it drives to a swamp, where Mike Myers it.
The eye of H.G.Welles up with a tear or two.
It's so upsetting, that Jimmy Greaves,
And Taye Diggs her own grave in a pile of leaves,
Tom Cruise a lifeboat,(what else can he do?)
Clare Danes to speak of it to the police,-
And for her trouble she is stabbed by Reese,
Witherspoon, a sharpened spoon,- that goes right through...
"The Dirty Harridan!" Josey Wales,
Someone make Stephen Fry: or put him in jails,
(I'm certain Edward Woodward know what to do).
It'd make Gene Hack, man, what're you at?
To let a load of people get away with that:
When Kenny Rogers Kiera Knightly and nobody ever says boo!
So Ralph Fiennes everyone involved in the crime,
But the car's still fucked, and stick in the slime,
Melvin and Billy Bragg that they know what to do...
They say " It's stuck where it is, and there it'll stop,
Let Kathleen Turner into a toupé shop",
Go there today and you can see Renee Zellweger two.