Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Return of Manic Monday.

Completing the set: Manic Monday by the Bangles meets Return of the Jedi



Click on this to hear the music in a new window

A twin-sun dawn already,
and we're right
in the middle of the scene,
Look, there's two robots
at the front-door
of a palace,
somewhere on
Tattoine,

But they're both made slaves,
because the Hutt
is not a reasonable man.



He captures Leia:
not-to-worry,
'cause Skywalker
is the man with a plan:



Yes Lucas made another Starwars (oh-uh-woah)
For filling up the Toy Stores (oh-uh-woah)
Directing's been out-sourced (Marquand)
The prequels were far worse (oh-uh-woah)
(Than when) Lucas made another Starwars



So every-one
es-capes'n'Jabba dies,
'n' Luke goes back
to Yoda
to train,

It turns out Leia
is his sister,
And we have the whole:
"related?!" again.



And also-
There's another
Death Star.
With a hole in it,

Do I really care?



I think it's pretty
safe to say
that the plot's
been already there



Yes Lucas made another Starwars (oh-uh-woah)
He's filling up the Toy Stores(oh-uh-woah)
The directing's been out-sourced ( Marquhahand )
The prequels were far worse(oh-uh-woah)
(Than when) Lucas made another Starwars

Why of all films,
why could not Lucas
not have left
these
three alone?

(left them, a-lone)

It can't be dough:
The fucking bastard must be rolling:
all the shit he owns,

I just honestly cant say what's worse...

The prequels or Greedo firing first

( Bang, bang, bang, bang!)



But tweaking is fun (when you’ve no ideas)...



Yes Lucas made another Starwars(oh-uh-woah)
It's filling up the Toy Stores(oh-uh-woah)
Directing's been out-sourced(oh-uh-woah)
The prequels were far worse(oh-uh-woah)
(Yeah) Lucas made another Starwars(oh-uh-woah)
It's filling up the Toy Stores(oh-uh-woah)
Directing's been out-sourced(oh-uh-woah)
The prequels were far worse(oh-uh-woah)

(Than when) Lucas made another StarWars.


The Empire strikes an Eternal Flame

As one thing leads to another...




Click on this to hear the music in a new window
( There maybe an ad on first)

VERSE1


Close your eyes
open your mind,
Jedi



do hear how I'm speakin'?
Yoda will explain ,
I dont
speak plain,
I speak Kinda freakeh...
lackwards banguage
all the time,
speak I .

VERSE2

That is why
explain do I
to you,
in this arse-about face way,
talk like this I do,
to screw
with you
I speak Kinda freakeh...
lackwards banguage
all the time,
speak I .

CHORUS



Hurting brain,
Never speaking plain,
Yoda's way,
it is when,
Jedi he must train,
So it is that
lackwards banguage,
all the time
speak I....


NEXT

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A New Hope of Walking Like an Egyptian

Wrote this a few months ago: thought I might as well stick it 'ere...

Okay:Click on this to hear the music in a new window

Ahem!

(to the tune of 'Walk Like An Egyptian' by The Bangles then)



All the Tusken raiders,
on the plains:
They do the sand-dance
dontcha know,

in single file,




ohwayo!


They're leaving, but
they'll be back with mo'.




Tiny jawas drive-
a giant skip,
around the place,
looking out for scrap,
They'll sell you droids

oooteeeny!

( thay're stolen or
just completely crap)

Jawa guys
with the glowing eyes say,
way oh
way ooh
way oh-oh
way oooh!




Got what you're looking for.





Master Luke is so-
sick of life,
He wants to join
- the rebellion,
His Dads alive!
No way! oh...

( That isn't what
folks are tellin him,)


Stormtroopers waste-
all his kin,
And so he must
go- with Obi Wan,
He's got the force..

Oh way oh..

And that's why the
troop-ers wave them on.
Obi Wan:
He just his moves hand,
 says

way oh
way ooh
way oh-oh
way ohh!




not what you're looking for


instrumental break and 'whistling' bit

They hire a ship
- in a bar,
but some of the
custom-ers are rude,
Obi chops 'em up,

No way! Oh..




Kenobi's a
bad-ass fighting dude,

Han Solo takes-
on the job,
And thats 'cos he-
needs the money fast,




He meets Greedo,

Oh way oh,

He shoots at him,
Greedo has a blast.

Han solo
'pays for the mess',
And gets away,
with this felony,

no-one seems to mind
('bout Greedo!)
They live in a hive,
of villainy.






 Straight away
to the docking bay and..

way oh
way ooh
way oh-oh
way ohh!




Set course for Alderaan.
Set course for Alderaan.


NEXT

Sunday, March 4, 2012

The bottle to act responsibly.



There was a time, back when I were a gorsoon, that you could bring the bottles of some soft drinks back to the shop and receive money for them from the shop-owner.
I must have been quite young when this practice stopped but I do remember it.

For quite some time afterwards all bottles were emblazoned with the words 'No Deposit- No Return' to hammer the point home that the days of "finding a discarded bottle and turning one man's trash into another man's bag-of-sweeties" were truly over.

That old system went the way of the buggy-whip. Glass-recycling hasn't ended mind you, but now we have Bottle-banks where every right-thinking citizen disposes of their surplus glassware and gets to benefit charities, like Rehab So I suppose you could say that people are paid in 'environmental charity-supporting smug points' instead of money.

I think the money was better: 'environmentally-conscious charity-supporting smug points' are only of value to a certain section of the population whereas everybody loves money.



I think there was a shift in thinking somewhere along the line. With the deposit/return system everybody had a reason to recycle and the that reason was self-interest. It required no training in the importance of sustainability to get children to recycle, it wasn't laid on the head of each individual to
" do the right thing": there was a system there to ensure the right thing was done.

It's just another way of operating.




Speaking of other ways of operating; in Finland, they didn't get rid of the "Deposit/Return" system, they refined it.

I cannot explain what it was like, as a regular visitor to stinking Irish Car-park Bottle-banks, I cant explain what it was like to enter a shop, every shop that sold
bottles and cans, and find a clean and beautiful machine that you just popped your bottles and cans into. I cant explain it. I felt like a Caveman who'd been defrosted and woke up in the future.



Watching the machine read the barcode and sort the recycling ( as the digital total of my deposit money rose on the display ) was staggering.


The shop-owners ( who make a living distributing receptacles in glass and aluminium ) had never passed on responsibility to the customer, but instead dealt with recycling as part of their business.



About six months ago, a bright plastic Bottle-bank was put in place at the top of Wolf Tone Street and was promptly burnt down to an ugly black smudge by 'the youth of today' because 'environmentally-conscious charity-supporting smug points' are of no value to them.

Their actions would hardly be described as responsible: but, to my mind, the fault is in the system: were the shops to accept their responsibility for what they sell and adopt the Finnish model then there'd be no ugly plastic Bottle-banks and the 'youth-of-today' would have a solid reason to clean-up after cider-parties.

A reason that has nothing to do with abstract notions like ' saving the planet' and everything to do with self-interest.